Has anyone ever told you that life doesn’t get easier? Maybe they were joking, or venting about their job, marriage, or kids. Some folks just like to hammer home the point that, in some way or another, life will always be hard.
There’s truth in it: there are parts of life that are hard!
But, a steady loop of this negative self-talk can keep people in the mindset that life will always be hard, instead of finding ways to make life better or easier. For a long time, we believed the lie that life doesn’t get any easier. That perspective kept us in survival mode because we were just trying to make it through each day, without dreaming of anything better.
After our oldest child was born, I (Nicole) really believed, “This is it, it’s not going to get better or easier”. I just need to buckle down and do my duty of raising kids. Life’s just going to be hard from here on out. I’m not going to have my own time, be able to pursue my own dreams, or have any freedom. This is where life ends. After you have kids you just settle down and stop growing.”
The first step on the path from surviving to thriving is shifting your mindset. In order to get to a better place, you have to be able to tell yourself that there’s something better.
Maybe it’s not parenting that is making you feel stuck in an inescapable grind. You could be having a really hard time at work, or your boss is unsupportive. You and your spouse don’t see eye-to-eye. Maybe you’re frustrated with your kids, or you can’t seem to stop living paycheck to paycheck.
You might recognize that there is something better out there, but you don’t think it could apply to you? The dream must be for someone who wakes up early every morning, makes more money, chose a better career, has easier-to-manage kids, or a more supportive spouse. Whatever that “dream” is, it can be easy to conclude that it’s not for you.
This is exactly where we were and what we believed. After having Amelia, I (Nicole) remember looking around at all my other friends who had babies. It just seemed like their babies were easier or they were more capable moms. I felt like there was something that separated me from everyone else. I couldn’t be a successful person because something was wrong with me.
What separated me from the “unattainable” was not something inherently better in others that I lacked. I began to close the gap between where I was and where I wanted to be, once I realized that I am in control of creating a life that does get easier, instead struggling through a life that doesn’t.
Listen, we know you’ve heard positive mindset talks before. If you’re shaking your head, thinking, “I’m just supposed to shift my mindset and life’s going to get easier?!” Hear us out!
If you believe that life is not going to get better, then why would it? When you stop believing in your dreams, your dreams won’t become a reality.
If you believe that it is going to get better, then you are creating the possibility of a better life. You’re creating something to work towards. All change starts with belief. Once there’s a possibility, there’s an open door for change to happen. It doesn’t mean that things will instantly get easier, but it gives you a purpose beyond surviving the day, because you know there’s something better out there for you.
When you are chasing your dream, even your body language reflects it. When you’re courageous and you believe in your dream, you carry yourself a little taller, you speak more confidently, and you have passion and direction for your future. You emit an energy that’s contagious, and draws people in.
Think about your biggest dream. Think about when you were in high school and life just felt like limitless possibilities. When I (Mark) was just a high school boy with a band, all I could think about was having my own recording studio just like Dave Grol from Nirvana and like the Foo Fighters. I was a believer and a dreamer. I really believed I could be on the same level as Nirvana.
Just because I don’t have a band that’s on the same level of Nirvana today, doesn’t mean I stopped believing I could do that. I still believe that I could be on the same level as Nirvana. My dreams have changed and evolved over time, and I continue to believe that any dream is possible!
Again, think about your biggest dream, beyond the dream of a double nap, a sink free of dishes, or the moment you can clock out of work or your partner finally comes home to pitch in. What is your dream life, if you could have anything? Is it a chef’s kitchen with gourmet appliances, a house on the coast in beautiful weather, a vacation to Bora Bora, a million dollar business, or a lifestyle you want to give your kids?
Whatever that big dream is, I want you to start believing right now that it’s possible. There are a million people out there ready to tell you that life doesn’t get easier, but you have to be the person to tell yourself that it will. If you believe the lie that things can’t get any better and you are destined to stay on your current trajectory of drudgery, you are sinking into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It all starts with belief. The “how” will come. But if you don’t believe anything is possible, nothing is possible.
How does this work? If we believe that we could have a boat, will a boat materialize in our backyard tomorrow? Of course not. But, if you truly believe that you could own a boat and go boating regularly, you are going to start shaping your life, thoughts, and actions around that belief. If you don’t believe that it’s even possible to own a boat one day, why would you start taking any action to manifest it?
When you believe that it’s possible, you might start setting aside a little bit of your paycheck each month. You might start researching the best boats on the market, or look for lakes near where you live. Start asking yourself what it would it take to own a boat and go boating every day, instead of sighing, “Wouldn’t it be nice?” and waving it off as someone else’s reality. You’re going to start making headway towards your dream once you believe that you can.
When you see that there’s a possibility that life could get better, you will start making small changes that have a big impact. Those small changes will snowball into something bigger and better than you could have imagined.
This famous quote is true: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result”.
Yes, life is hard, but it’s your choice to either keep it as hard as it is now, or give yourself the purpose and possibility of something greater.
All your hard work will move you forward to your bigger goals and dreams. You will go from surviving to thriving.
We believe that it does get easier. When you believe in yourself and the possibilities for your life, you will see how quickly your life improves and your dreams become reality. Anyone can create the life they love. We’re not more special or better than you. We’ve had to work hard to fight the lie that life doesn’t get easier.
You will work hard every day for your dreams, but the process becomes significantly easier because you are working towards your purpose and your potential.
One of our biggest challenges in overcoming that lie was just making it through each day. We were so overwhelmed by the chaos of our daily life, we had no bandwidth to dream anymore.