new years resolutions

I’m usually not a New Year’s Resolution type person. Overall, I feel very content with my life on a day to day basis and the idea of a New Year’s Resolution just feels so BIG. Like, I’m resolving to turn my whole life around, and most of the time I just don’t feel the need to turn my life around.

But, this year, for some reason, was different. I had a list of about 20 things I wanted to do better in the new year. But the overall “theme” of my resolutions was that I wanted to THRIVE, NOT SURVIVE. 

Two and a half years ago, I became a mother! My greatest dream, my highest goal. This is what I’ve been wanting FOREVER. Being a mother is great and magical and full of more love than you can ever imagine, but it’s also really HARD. Then, 6 months into my world being rocked by one baby we found out we were expecting our second baby! So, for the last two and a half years it felt like I was simply surviving. Doing just enough to get through a day with two kids under two. I put my own dreams, my own desires aside, because I just couldn’t. But coming up to this New Year, it struck me that I wasn’t only shorting myself by surviving, but my family too. I was tired and grumpy and unfulfilled. Now, don’t get me wrong. Being a mother is THE most fulfilling thing I could ever do and I really do love every second of it. But there’s this delicate balance between sacrificing yourself for your children and sacrificing so much that you have nothing left to give. 

So I resolved. I wanted this year to be better.

This year, 2017, is different because I’ve dedicated this year to:

• more intentional time with my girls
• more intentional time with my husband
• more intentional time for myself

Time with My Girls

So many days with my girls were filled with me throwing random toys in their direction and hoping that they would be occupied for more than 30 seconds. But this year, I want to be more dedicated to teaching them, to setting up games and activities that we can do together. Some days are better than others. But the times I do put down my phone and my to do lists, those times are magical. 

Time with My Husband

By the end of the day my husband and I are lucky to get a few words in to each other before one of three things happen: we fight about nothing (mainly just because we’re tired), fall on the couch and zone out mindlessly to a t.v. show, or pass out cold in bed. All of which are fine options, well, maybe other than the fighting, but they’re surviving options. So this year we went out and bought some board games, learned how to make some fancy cocktails, and try to turn every night (that we’re not both working on our businesses) into a little date night at home. When all the pieces fall into place just right and we have our mini date nights, it does wonders for our marriage. We remember why we’re in love in the first place. We SEE each other, and not just as the person I can defer parental responsibility to. When we take time for each other, we save up some grace for the next time things get hard. 

Time for Myself

This one was a lot harder to come up with for me. For months and months I tossed around ideas of what I should do. Should I volunteer, should I take a class, should I work out more. Thankfully I have a husband and friends who truly see me and what I’m passionate about and they kept reminding me how much I love photography. I picked up photography before kids and somewhere in the midst of all the change I forgot about it. I forgot how alive it makes me feel to have a camera in my hands. I forgot the excitement of getting home to look at the moments I captured. I forgot how much I love photographing a bride walk down the aisle to meet her groom who’s holding back tears. But with some gentle pushes, I remembered. So I resolved to spend more time on my dreams and my passions. And you know what? I’m a better mom and a better wife for it. I have more drive, more energy, and more of myself to give. I cannot wait to see where this business takes me, but already it’s given me the world!

So, although I’m not a resolution person, this new year, it’s worked out pretty good.